Tips for Starting a Summer Miracles Group In DC we were really scrambling for advocate and host families up until the last …
Tips for Starting a Summer Miracles Group
The following list is graciously offered by Laura Flynn, adoptive mother of
two, in Northern Virginia
1 Make sure you understand the roles that everyone plays in the Kidsave
Summer Miracles Program and that you can explain those roles in a clear and
concise manner For example, you should clearly understand what Kidsave,
the home study agencies, host and advocate families, Summer Miracles
program coordinators, overseas escorts/coordinators, and others are
responsible and not responsible for doing and how all of the pieces fit
together
2 Start the process of recruiting families EARLY I cannot emphasize this
enough In DC we were really scrambling for advocate and host families up
until the last minute Things worked out in the end — but as someone who
was helping line up families it was pretty stressful to know that these
kids were on their way here and we didnt have enough host families In
terms of finding families, try local adoption support groups, local
adoption agencies, area hospitals, even groups like Resolve for families
dealing with infertility If you have a Families with Children from China
chapter near you, contact them and
specifically mention that many of the
children from Kazakhstan are Asian
3 Make sure that your prospective host families are educated though not
overly educated about what is involved in hosting a child They not only
need to understand their responsibilities with respect to hosting,
submitting weekly reports, attending Kidsave functions, getting a home
study or home visit whichever you need for your state — but parents also
need to know what to expect from the kids I heard about one host child who
opened a door while a vehicle was moving — many of these kids have been in
cars so infrequently that they really do NOT know how to behave They are
curious and push, pull or twist anything that MIGHT move Advise parents to
kid-proof their homes and their cars which sounds really obvious — but for
someone who doesnt already have kids — it is often not Believe me — we
learned the hard way when Kira opened the car door as I was going around a
corner at about 45 mph She was buckled in — so didnt move far but I
definitely have more gray hair as a result
4 Make sure that each of your host families has a buddy family they can
turn to for help, advice, or simply to decompress or share
joys and
excitement I dont know that it necessarily has to be a Kidsave family who
has already adopted — someone who hosted in previous years or even local
families who may have adopted or fostered older kids could work The
important thing, I think, is to formalize the relationship so families
arent hunting for someone to call when they need it
5 Make sure families are proficient in common Russian phrases Please and
thank you, be quiet, I love you, listen to Mama/Papa, house, food, etc can
go a long way in smoothing the transition for the kids The Russian doesnt
have to be perfect, or grammatically correct, nouns and verbs alone do
wonders with these kids
6 Try and get the families to send the kids to the same camp so that the
Russian-speaking kids are not alone In some ways I think this defeats one
of the purposes of the program — but these kids are so out of their
element any losses in exposure to English, I think, is offset by the
reduction in stress the child experiences
7 Figure out ahead of time what you will do with any escorts who may be
staying/visiting your area during the summer Have not only a place for
them to stay, but a way for them to communicate with the host
families if
they dont speak some English Also arrange for them to see local sites and
experience the local culture — but also try and find out what is important
to them The escort who stayed with us wanted to go shopping, so shopping
is what we focused onCostco, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Best Buy — you name a
discount store and we were there She did want to see some of the sights of
DC, as well, so we did a quick driving tour of the major monuments and got
her picture in front of everything she wanted to prove she had seen It was
hectic, but fun
8 Let parents know about the various online resources see the
Resources page at wwwkidsaveorg The Kidsavefriends YahooGroup is a
great source of support, but there are others, as well The PAKK
YahooGroup was established for families adopting from Kazakhstan Some
people love listservs, others hate them, let them decide which camp they
fall into
9 If possible, arrange for local doctors, dentists, or other health
providers to see the kids while they are here One of the DC area moms
arranged for free medical care just by asking her childs practice Kids in
DC were also seen on an as-needed basis by specialists who could evaluate
known special
medical needs This kind of information is invaluable to
prospective adoptive families Serik, one of the 10 year olds from
Kazakhstan had a diagnosis of a heart condition and had even been on
medication in Kazakhstan to treat his chronic condition — guess what –
it was a misdiagnosis
10 If you arrange for weekend events — spread them around so that
everyone is equally inconvenienced — I know that sounds crass — but I
know some of our families were a little miffed at having to drive upwards
of 90 minutes each way to attend the obligatory functions
11 Since the purpose of the weekend activities, as I understand it, is
two-fold 1 get the kids/families together for support, and 2 provide a
non-threatening way for non-hosting families to meet the kids — make sure
you are fulfilling both parts of that equation Talk to host/advocate
families and find out what they are interested in doing/need to feel
supported and provide that — but also find out what setting will put the
families attending to meet the children at ease I for one hate mingling
and hate going places where I dont know someone hard to believe isnt it
but believe it or not I am an EXTREME introvert I would much prefer
to
meet a single family at a local park or restaurant then to have to go and
introduce myself to a bunch of people I dont know who are, at the same
time they are talking with me, trying to keep track of their kids It can
be very awkward
12 Kidsave Coordinator/event planners should also make sure that families
who might be interested actually know about the events I would contact
local home study agencies and your local social services department to see
if they would be willing to pass along an invitation or share their mailing
list with you
13 Work the local press WELL BEFORE the kids arrive Most people are
fascinated by the stories of these kids — figure out how to work in the
local media before the kids arrive so that families can be prepared and
know what to expect
14 Contact ANY local organizations that might include families interested
in adoption-related issues, specific special medical needs, and/or
Russian/Kazakh culture Some potential sources for Russian-speakers or
persons interested in Russian culture include local colleges or
universities that offer Russian-language instruction, volunteer literacy
programs such as English-as-a-Second Language Programs, Russian
cultural or
theater groups more likely found in urban areas - but you never know, or
your nearest Russian Embassy or consulate DC, NY, Chicago, CA, any
others?
15 Recruit volunteer translators EARLY and NEVER underestimate the need
for translators Consider matching volunteer translators up with
advocate/host families so families will know who to call — but also
provide them with a list of back-ups in case an emergency arises You might
also contact area hospitals to see if they have any Russian-speaking
employees in case the need arises, eg, we took one child from DC from the
airport directly to the hospital because he had a contagious skin infection
– nothing serious — but it was a bit unnerving to rely on my 10 year old
son to translate — he did beautifully — but I was REALLY nervous until we
got there
16 See if there are any exchange programs in your area that include
Russian-speaking participants If their programs involve children,
investigate early the possibility of hosting joint events One of our local
churches sponsors a program called Children of Chernobyl which brings kids
over for the summer for R R The children are not orphans, and many
children return year after
year — meaning a the kids are a potential
source of junior translators and b the host families are a potential
source of future Kidsave families I also know several families in our area
who employ Russian-speaking nannies and/or host Russian-speaking foreign
exchange students Interestingly enough, most of them are from Germany,
having emigrated after the collapse of the Soviet Union
17 Figure out a plan now for what to do if a host family has an emergency
or makes a decision late in the process not to host I know that several
families who werent expecting to host this summer ended up hosting –
which can work out great — but it can also create a lot of tension and
anxiety especially for the kids
18 Make sure that all of your host families know THE RULES of hosting,
eg, no talking about adoption, no over-indulging the kids, establishing
routines for the kids, and whatever else the Kidsave handbook discusses
The part about not over-indulging and establishing routines for the kids is
a BIGGIE with me Believe me, reading it in a book and talking with someone
whose been there is a world of difference and makes the points hit home
much more effectively We made the mistake of giving
into pity we felt
towards our kids and it was a MAJOR mistake — we should have taken
everyones advice right from the start and established firm routines with
consistent enforcement of our rules and it would have saves us a lot of
back-peddling
Source:unt.edu
